I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
