I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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