Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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