My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
