help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize