is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
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He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
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Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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