dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
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the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
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I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.