My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize