smell my finger.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.