You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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