The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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