If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
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We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
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He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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