where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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