Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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