u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
