We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it wasn't lemon gatorade
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
