Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
