I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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