do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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