Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
