I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
