Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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