So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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