It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
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Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
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He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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