love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
