how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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