real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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