making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just found puke in my bra..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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