That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
