the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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