We need to rekindle our bromance
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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