is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
