Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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