it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
