BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
