she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
