Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
