Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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