that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
