id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
