I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
