You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize