oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
