So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
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America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
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my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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