That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
