Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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