Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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