just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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