yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
