who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
