I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
