I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize