yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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