had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize