She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
