dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
