There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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