Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
