I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I look better un-naked...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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