He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
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low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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