Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My life is pants optional.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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