maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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