Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Pants are for mortals
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize