wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
